


Counting stars

by MarinaScarlet



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, But with a happy ending, Canon following, F/M, It's more like drama tbqh, Rumbelle - Freeform, Rumbelle Secret Santa, Well I think this is angst moreover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarinaScarlet/pseuds/MarinaScarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>annythecat's prompt: Regina fails to 'create' Lacey</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counting stars

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo this is the first thing I've written in months and jesus I think it's good hahaha I really hope you like it, Anny! And I also hope I've gotten your prompt right. The clues you've been leaving on your Tumblr have been quite useful, indeed.
> 
> There is a cover too (woooo that was the other gift hahaha) and the title is based on OneRepublic's song _**[Counting Stars](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_nvWreIhg)**_. There are bits of the song that fits perfectly for the fic, especially this one:  
> 
> _Doing the wrong thing_  
>  I feel something so wrong  
> Doing the right thing  
> I could lie, coudn't I, could lie  
> Everything that kills me makes me feel alive
> 
> This fic was going to be named Dirty Paws at the very beginning (because Of Monsters and Men's song) because I thought of Belle as a wounded animal, and of Neal, Emma, Gold and Henry as the part of the pack who protects and cares of the wounded and the hurt until they are fine (sorry I keep on thinking all day in stupid parallelisms of what I want to write). But I thought Counting Stars fits better (if you have time just take a look at the lyrics because they remind me a lot of Rumbelle and Rumple and Belle and the whole fic).
> 
> So after this stupid explanation about the title and the struggle I went while writing this... Enjoy! :)

* * *

_Lately, I've been, **I've been losing sleep**_   
**_Dreaming about the things that we could be_ **   
_But baby, I've been, **I've been praying hard,**_   
_Said, no more counting dollars_   
**_We'll be counting stars_ **

* * *

****

Only a hallway separated the Queen from the Beauty.

Like in another time and place, Belle was trapped inside of four walls, without any possibility of escape by her own means.

The Beauty was still trapped between the Queen’s cold claws; she could still use her for her plans, and she could make the Dark One suffer even more. With a son that didn’t want to see him, and an amnesiac True Love, who could barely recognize herself, adding a bit more of pain would be his perdition.

Regina knew exactly what to do. She had kept a spell in her crypt for a long time, and she cursed herself for not being able using it earlier. She knew from the very beginning that she should have used it at the beginning of the curse; she should have transformed a somehow naïve princess who sacrificed herself for her father’s kingdom into a rude pool player and drinker who hated her father. But having her as a white blank page, trapped in an asylum had been better, in the end. Regina could have killed her when she wanted, and making Rumplestiltskin believe that his True Love was really dead.

She had many options for Belle, and yet, she kept on choosing what would hurt more Belle and Rumple.

Lacey was about to breathe for the first time.

She entered the room in which the brunette was packing her things, and faked her best smile.

“Hello.” She greeted the girl.

“Hello.” Belle said loosely, without paying attention.

“I think we haven’t been formally introduced. My name is Regina Mills, and I am the Mayor.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She smiled. “May I ask what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see if you were fine, and it seems so… Are you going home?”

“More or less. Mr. Gold told me that he would help me remember who I was, and I’m going with him.”

“That’s so nice, coming from him…” She let a matchbox fell to the floor, and when she picked it up, she enchanted it. “By the way, I just saw this on the floor. Is it yours?”

“No. I don’t even know what it is…”

“Focus on it. Maybe it will help you to remember…” Regina smiled again, watching the result of her magic.

Belle looked at the tiny box that was between her fingers, and focused on it, trying to guess what was going on. After a moment, something sparked inside of her, and she threw the box to the floor. Regina looked at the girl surprised; she shouldn’t have acted like that.

“What happens?” She asked.

Belle didn’t answer. She closed her bag with a rapid movement and exited the room quickly. The Queen lost her sight at the end of the corridor. Why she was acting like that? Lacey should be smiling, thanking her for helping her to bring back the long lost memories. Something was wrong with the spell; maybe she didn’t enchant the matchbox correctly, maybe the spell had an error and she had made it.

She hurried to leave the hospital as well.

***

Belle wandered around Storybrooke’s streets, trying to find a good place to hide, far from the hospital and far from the nurses and that woman with short, dark hair. She knew who she was, and she knew why she was in the hospital, and also why that woman went to see her: each day she went to the asylum to see her, to mock about her suffering.

She couldn’t control the tears coming down her eyes, and she couldn’t forget anything of what was now into her mind. Her watered eyes blurred her vision, making her stumbling into somebody; both fell to the floor.

She opened her eyes and looked to the person who was lying by her side. He was unfamiliar to her, but the man’s eyes looked at her with a mix of relief and excitement.

“Belle! You’re safe and sound!” He said, trying to hug her.

“Who are you?!” Belle yelled, moving backwards, far from him.

“I’m you father! Don’t you recognize me?”

“You’re not my father! My father is dead and gone! I’m an orphan!” She stood up and started to run again, far from the flower shop and that man who claimed to be her father.

“No, Belle! Please, wait!” He cried.

But Belle couldn’t heard him; she was far now from his position. She found a place in which she could stop for a little while and catch her breath, and also, for making up her mind,  to organize the mess she had in her head in that moment.

“I don’t know what my name is; I can’t remember it. Everybody here calls me Belle for reasons I don’t understand. I was with my parents on their car and we had an accident. Both died, but I survived. I was taken to the hospital and it took me months to recover; my head was damaged and I suffered from retrograde amnesia; I can’t remember who were my parents, which was my name nor anything who happened in my past. I was locked away in the asylum for reasons I still don’t understand.” She sat on the cold ground, with tears streaming down her face. “After years of being in that place, somebody freed me and I was told to find a person who was called Mr. Gold. This man would take care of me and would protect me. Then I remember being at the town line, with the arms of a stranger around me, and I saw him holding a fireball. I had been shot, and this man healed me. And then, I was locked up in the hospital again...” She cried louder, with her head against the wall and her face looking at the sky. “… For reasons I still don’t understand.”

She remained there, crying and hugging herself, trying to picture a place in which she could be safe.

***

“And you haven’t seen her then?”

“For the fifth time, when I returned to her hospital room, she was gone.” Gold contained his wrath and just clenched to his cane harder, hurting his hand. “I don’t know where she is, but I am worried.”

“She’s nowhere in the hospital.” David Nolan entered the room urgently, walking towards Emma. “People haven’t seen her.”

“Well, nothing of this would have happened if any of you would have watched over her.” He pointed at Mary Margaret and David Nolan with his cane. “I asked you a favor, I asked you to watch over her so she could be safe. But no, protecting yourselves was far more important than protect a harmless person from the evil that lurks in this town.” His eyes were burning with rage, and so his voice. “If she is hurt, if something wrong has happened to her, I swear I will-“

“Gold, stop. Now.” Emma took him by the arm. “We will find her, and we will protect her.”

“It’s too late for making promises, Miss Swan.” Gold looked for the last time to the three people that were in the hospital room and then he exited it. “It’s too late.”

Gold exited the hospital with anger throbbing in his veins. He felt betrayed and hurt; he had just asked for one thing, one simple request that even wasn’t for him. He asked the Queen and King of the Enchanted Forest to protect one of the things he loved most: his True Love, who lied in a hospital bed, alone, with no friends and no memory. He couldn’t protect her in the distance, and he had to rely on somebody for that task. And he certainly had made a mistake about it.

He felt betrayed, like when Cinderella, teaming up with Snow White and Prince Charming, captured him by lying. The sensation felt the same –with the brief exception that he didn’t end between bars and completely immobilized by magic ink– and he had to do something; killing them and keeping his promise would have been the easiest thing, but now, his son was there and he had to prove him he was a good man.

He entered his car and drove to his shop; maybe there he could find a potion or a search spell that allowed him to localize Belle.

But fate had been keeping another surprise for him.

He parked his car in front of the main door of his shop, and he saw the door was opened. He went quickly to check what happened; his heart was racing, and when he opened the door and finally discovering who was inside, he could have sworn it was a dream.

Neal and Belle were together in the shop.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked nervously.

“I found this girl in an alley near your shop, and I thought bringing her there could keep her safe.” Neal answered, without paying much attention to his father.

“You know who she is?” Gold’s eyes were watered and his face was wearing fear, relief and sadness.

“No. But from your look, I think I can guess who she is.” He arched an eyebrow and whispered a name. “Belle.”

“Indeed she is.” Gold walked towards her. “Is she fine?”

“A bit cold. That’s why she is wrapped in that blanket.” Neal leaned over one of the counters and took out his phone.

“Can you call Emma to tell her we found Belle?”

“Sure.” Neal took out his phone and exited the shop, making Belle raise her sight and look directly to Gold.

When Belle looked at him, her eyes widened and she screamed. Gold tried to get closer to her, but she ran behind the counter, shouting at him to go away. “DON’T DARE TO COME ANY CLOSER! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! DON’T TOUCH ME!”

“I’m not going to hurt you!”

“I saw you holding a fireball at the townline!” She remembered that; Gold was standing paralyzed behind the counter. “You- I’m not safe with you either!”

“What the hell is going on here?” Neal opened the door of the shop and walked towards Belle with quick steps. “What did you do to her?”

“I just- I don’t know. She just remembered something that happened when she lost her memories… Something she can’t understand in her actual estate.”

Neal wrapped Belle around his arms while she continued crying and shaking. Gold couldn’t understand why he was still a trigger to her; he had taken care of her during her first days in the hospital. But he also realized he had also made a few mistakes while she was trapped in that room.

And he understood that it was better to be far from her until she could stand his presence.

“I can’t be near her, Neal. I just simply can’t.” He swallowed hard, holding back his tears. “She thinks I’m some kind of creeper and I she also thinks I will hurt her; my presence triggers her. I have to stay away from here until I have found a way to bring back her memories.”

“And where I’m supposed to take her?”

“The library is the safest place I know.”

“And why won’t you leave her in the Bed and Breakfast?”

“The library is safest.” He handed Neal a key. “Take her there and make sure she stays calmed. There is an apartment at the library. She can stay there.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Neal asked. His eyes were full of uncertainty and also of sorrow; he knew his father loved deeply the woman who was between his arms in that moment, and the fact that she was scared of him because she couldn’t remember who she was hurt him more.

“I’m not sure anymore.”

Gold turned slowly in his toes and left the shop, trying not to start smashing things with his cane every single thing that crossed paths with him, including people.

A hand on his shoulder and an unpleasant familiar voice called his attention, and made him change his mind.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?”

“Well, to start with, I think those aren’t the proper manners to start a conversation.” He turned and put the metal handle of the cane in the other man’s throat. “And I haven’t done anything to her.” He concluded, showing his teeth.

“You have turned her into who she is now!”

“Wasn’t this what you wanted, Maurice? I though you wanted a forgetful daughter who didn’t remember me…” He smirked sarcastically. “Now she doesn’t remember me… But she doesn’t know who you are as well.”

“You… You are a monster!” Moe took Gold by the sleeves of his coat and started to left him, when Gold’s cane meet his throat by a thud, making the beauty’s father fall to the ground. When the Dark One’s cane was about to hit the man for the first time that day, a voice called them, and he stopped, letting the wooden stick fall to the ground.

“HEY, BOTH OF YOU, STOP!” The voice of the sheriff resounded in the street. “What the hell you think you’re doing, Gold?”

“Exchanging impressions with Mr. French, sheriff Swan.”

“This reminds me of that night in which you almost killed him.” She frowned, crossing her arms and walking slowly towards the imp. “Look, I don’t want to arrest you again but if you keep on hurting people just because they-“

“Miss Swan, let me explain you one thing: he started first. He accused me of making Belle the persona who is right now, thing that is completely a lie.” He started to walk away. “This time it’s not my fault.”

“Wait!” She shouted. “Then who’s the culprit?”

“That’s what I’m going to find out now.”

***

The smell of new and old books hit Neal in the face when he opened the library’s main door. Everything had been rearranged, put in the correct shelves, and despite there still were books on the floor, it seemed a welcoming and warm place; his father was right, that was a great place for Belle to stay.

At first, the girl was daunting to come into the place, but with each step she took inside the building, she started to feel more confident and a few moments later she started to walk around the shelves, looking at the spines of the book and letting her hands touch every single cover that was in that place. Neal just stared at her.

“Who owns this place?” She asked, calling Neal’s attention.

“Mr. Gold, the man of the shop. He’s the owner of all buildings in this town.”

Belle showed up from a shelf and started to walk slowly towards to him. “I want… I want to ask you something, if I can.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“When I was at the town line, this man, Mr. Gold, he healed me… Somebody shot me and I was bleeding, and then, he put his hand over my shoulder and the wound wasn’t there.” She turned her head and looked at the shelves again. “And I saw him holding a fireball.” She swallowed. “What he is? I mean… What kind of men he is? Magic doesn’t exist.”

“Well… I think I know somebody who knows very well about this.”

“Who is that person?”

“Wait and see.” Neal smiled, as he watched Belle’s puzzled face. “You’ll be surprised.”

***

“And so, this is what is happening in this town.”  Henry closed the book and looked at her. “Do you have any questions?”

“This is complicated to understand… A little bit.” Belle looked at the kid. “But I think everything makes sense now…”

“Now you know Mr. Gold won’t hurt you; he was protecting you.”

“Yes… I think I should pay him a visit and ask him for forgiveness.” She smiled briefly. “But you haven’t told me one thing: which fairy tale character am I?”

“Well… You don’t appear in the book, I don’t know why, but you are Belle, the daughter of Sir Maurice, the landlord of Avonlea. Your father invoked the Dark One in order to make a deal to save your village, and you accepted to go with him to save your town. Then, you fell in love with him and when you kissed him, it was revealed that you were his True Love. He locked you in the dungeons but he freed you.” He stood up. “You are Mr. Gold’s True Love, Belle.”

She stared at the boy, trying to assimilate what she had heard. Everything sounded unbelievable, but at the same time, it was the best explanation somebody had said about that issue.

“And what am I supposed to do? What should I do?”

“I don’t know… Maybe you could talk to him.” He started to move towards the library door. “He will appreciate it, for sure.”

“Thank you, Henry. Really.”

“No need to thank, Belle!” He smiled and left the library.

Emma and Neal were waiting for him on the street, near the yellow bug, with a cup of coffee in their hands.

“How it went?” Emma asked, handing him a paper vase of hot chocolate with cinnamon.

“Better than I expected.” Henry smiled. “I think I did the right thing.”

“Well done, lad. Well done.”

***

Belle waited a few more days to show up again in Gold’s shop. She was still assimilating what Henry had been telling her over the past week.

The stories of the fairy tale characters, the fact that she was part of that world, puzzled her to unimaginable levels. She was still afraid to show up in that shop, she was still afraid of seeing him again and apologize. She was afraid of telling him she was sorry for her behavior.

She was afraid of being afraid.

But she had to be brave. She had been brave enough to run away from the hospital and to try to find shelter. She had been brave, braver than she had been in her whole life.

So she dressed up and she went to the street. She walked to the shop, and opened the door firmly but in a delicate way, making the bells of the door ring.

“I’m afraid the shop is closed. Please come back tomorrow.” A voice called from the backshop.

“Mr. Gold, it’s Belle.” She waited for a reply but the only thing she heard were the sound of a cane coming towards her. “Sorry to bother you but…”

“You could never bother me.” He tried to smile but he failed. “May I ask what are you doing here?”

“I was… Well, I went to tell you I’m sorry.” She walked towards him. “I’m sorry for my behavior, sorry for shouting at you, sorry for just being… Terrible with you, despite you only wanted to help me.”

“There’s no need to apologize, really.”

“But I feel I had to.” The bells of the door ringed again and both looked to the door.

“What are you doing here?” Gold asked to the group that entered the shop.

“The Blue Fairy just made a potion to bring the memories back and we need an object familiar to the person who is going to drink that potion.” Leroy said.

“And you need to break into my shop to steal that thing…”

“Look, Gold, I’m not going to let Sneezy die as Clark. I want him to spend his last moments with this family.”

“Take whatever you need and leave this place NOW.”

The dwarves took the jar and exited the shop, but Leroy stayed. “I have something for you too.”

“What is that?”

“I asked the Blue Fairy to make another dose of the potion.” He handed Gold a little bottle with a blue liquid. “Please don’ let Belle die as this white blank page. I owed her a favor. And this is how I’m returning it to her.”

“Thank you.”

Leroy gave one last look to Belle and Gold and left the shop.

“Wait… Are we going to die?”

“It seems so.” He walked into this backshop, opening a little wardrobe and putting out a blue bag. “And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” She smiled briefly. “It’s okay.”

He sighed and put the content of the bag over the desk. “You… You remember this, right?”

“This cup… Why is it so important to you?”

“It’s a part of my past; of our past.” He moved his hand over it and he fixed it, filling it with the content of the blue bottle. “Please, drink this. Do this as my last request.”

Belle doubted, but she took the cup between her hands and drank the content.

And a wave of warmth suddenly invaded Belle’s body.

Memories of another place, another time, another land, filled her, and tears watered her eyes. She opened her eyes and looked directly to the person who was standing right in front of her.

“R-rumple!” She muttered, and she threw herself to his lips, to kiss him deeply.

She tasted him wholly, losing herself in him and recovering the lost time over the past weeks. When their lips finally parted, they looked each other in the eyes, full of tears.

“I’m sorry I woke you up to die.”

“Don’t feel sorry, Rumple… You did the right thing.”

“But I feel wrong, Belle. So wrong.”

“Please, Rumple…” She hugged him. “Please don’t apologize. It’s fine. At least it makes me happy I can spend my last moments with you.”

“I love you, Belle.”

“I love you too.”

They hugged for one last time; Belle clenched her fists into Rumple’s jacket, sobbing and whispering in his neck how much she loved him.

The earth kept on shacking and fear invaded their bodies.

They had been separated for more time than they could ever want. He had gone to find his son, and she didn’t know if she had succeeded. And she was dying to know.

“Rumple… Did you find your son?”

“He… I found him, but he died.”

Belle was speechless; she didn’t know how to react neither what to say. “I’m… I’m so sorry.” She started to cry again; the only thing that Rumple wanted was finding his son and ask him for forgiveness. The only thing he wanted was finding him.

Rumple just cried on her Belle’s shoulder.

Belle followed him.

It was a loss none of them could ever get over.

***

After a moment, the ground stopped shaking. Belle and Rumple looked at each other and smiled briefly, holding hands.

They never expected to survive; they were preparing themselves to die and to be buried under the trees of the forest.

But they were reunited.

They were together.

And that was all that mattered.


End file.
